I’ve been sat here for the last half an hour trying to figure out what to write about today. I’ve got nothing, I’ve not got anything interesting to talk about that I haven’t already written about in the past week. I’ve not been up to anything particularly interesting and talking about the weather and how nice it has been today just seems like the most mundane thing ever.
I had a look through my notes and my drafts folder to see if there was anything that would take my fancy but to be honest they’re looking pretty barren at the moment.
So that is going to be todays topic, my current lack of inspiration.
It would be super easy to take days off of this thing when I don’t have a topic or something interesting to write about, hell, I didn’t even see anything interesting enough to take a picture of today, that would have been something at least. The real trick is staying disciplined enough on these down days and writing about just how I’m feeling. I can usually babble on for a little bit just on that, today it was harder though as I’m just a bit of a blank slate. Not in an ‘Oh I’m so empty and devoid of feeling” kind of way, just a bit… blank, I don’t know how else to describe it.
My writing process changes pretty fluidly, I have a reminder at 6:30 every evening telling me to ‘Write something, stupid’ I normally have already got in my mind what I’m going to write about that day, if not I refer over to my notes document that I use to track my weekly posts. I started it when I began this project and kept it up to date for a while but then I stopped using it. I think my writing became a little directionless around that time and since I’ve gone back to using it I find the whole process not just easier but the quality of the output better as well.
Basically I have a check box for each day of the week and next to it I try and fill in what topic I’m going to write about each day, for example I know that on Thursday I’m going to write about the Barenaked Ladies show I’m going to on Wednesday and on Saturday I’m planning to do a post on what we’ve been up to in London that day. It is a fluid document and things get shuffled around and changed all the time, but it is a good guide post and when I’m having days like today, more often than not I can either see what I had planned or move something around and start writing. It’s much either than trying to think of something completely on the fly.
I debated writing about Jon again today, we had a pretty shitty weekend and it really bummed me out. Every time things start getting better they seem to collapse down again further than they have before. If I’m going to write about the whole situation I really warrants a much longer post or series of posts. I don’t know if I will though, part of me feels shitty about it, it would obviously all be very much from my prospective and it would feel like airing dirty laundry for the world to see when in fact it is more of a private family matter, but the other part of me thinks it is important for my own sake and for some prosperity that I do put it down, sometimes writing in writing out the whole thing you can find new perspective or understanding. I think really I’m hesitant to do it as just thinking about it makes me frustrated to the point of anger and saddened beyond anything else in my life for a very long time.
I’m lucky to have an amazing wife who rides the waves with me and some very close dear friends who reach out and listen to me when I’m in a bad way, you know who you are and I can’t thank you enough.
This one took a turn at the end. I’m sure that that is all a big reason why I’m feeling so blank today, I say again though that I don’t feel bad or sad or anything negative I just haven’t had an interesting weekend and anything that I might have thought of was pretty much zapped out of my brain. I got a decent length post out of thin air though, pretty good right! Lets see if I can do that again tomorrow!