Boring Self Care
If y’all have been reading my shit this past week you shouldn’t be surprised to know I’ve been feeling like crap.
I’ve not, and will not be, going into details as to why but suffice to say it has been a pretty self imposed depression which doesn’t make it any less valid, it just means that I’ve got to work through it in my own way.
And that’s what I’ve been doing. Sometimes that has been playing video games for hours on end, sometimes it’s writing blog posts about stuff completely unrelated and sometimes it’s plodding on and trying to live as normal a life as possible.
I seem to do a lot of boring self care and maintenance when I’m down; I’m always a creature of habit and like my routines but it seems that when I’m feeling low I rely on them a lot more to keep me motivated and moving forward.
I can look at my ‘Habit’ app, which is only populated with productive and useful things and see that I’ve done all of them for a multiple day stretch. Normally you’d thing, ‘great way to be responsible and productive,’ but I look at that and think... ‘eeesh, I’m really feeling crap at the moment huh?!’
It’s all part of the weird duality in my head.
Today I did a bit of extra boring life admin shit and scrubbed and cleaned my bathroom. Really it was just a reason to continue listening to podcasts but on a day that I’ve not left the house and only spoken to one or two people via messages, by choice I should add, it felt like a good idea to do something productive.
I’m going to watch a movie this evening and then go to bed. I hope you’re all doing well, I’ll get there, just got to do it my own way.