I’m five and a half months away from finishing this whole project! That seems absolutely baffling to me. When I first started I really hoped I’d be able to keep doing it consistently but I think in the back of my mind I expected to drop off at some point, three and a half years is a long time to do something every single day.
I’m fully aware that, honestly, most of the posts I’ve made have been completely disposable and never need revisiting. But there are a handful, I’d say maybe ten percent, that I’m really proud of and would like to pull out and feature somehow when it’s all said and done.
That’s not to say I’m not proud of the rest, I am, but I think you know what I mean.
I’ve never had huge numbers following along with my exploits, I never expected to or even tailored this to be that. It was always a project for me. Something for me to be able to look back on if I wanted but know that I accomplished either way.
Writing this every day has been a pain in the ass at times but it has also been a saviour for me far more often. It has allowed me to vocalise some of the shit I have swirling around in my head and let it out. I will say that I’m not a fan of posts like that being the ones people contact me about the most though. That’s not why I’m writing them, they’re never a cry for help and to be honest, as much as I know everyone means well, telling me it’s upsetting to hear that I’m having a bad time just makes it worse. It makes my stupid head feel guilty for feeling bad when it’s not something I need to feel guilty about. So, yeah, I love and appreciate that support but it doesn’t often help anything.
I’ve not written nearly as many ‘article’ style pieces recently as I would like. I think a big reason for that is that this year has beaten a lot of that kind of thing out of all of us.
I was thinking about my year end posts the other day, those who have been reading for a while might remember I usually do lists of favourite things for the last week of the year.
I’m not sure I can do that this year as it’s just been a bit of a shit show from start to finish.
My life has changed, I have changed, so drastically in the time I’ve been doing this project. I’m sure I’ll continue to write after my birthday when this wraps up, but it definitely won’t be so consistent, not at this frequency at least.
I’ve been thinking about what the next project is and I really am leaning toward just more and more podcasts. I want to expand the range of things I’m doing there with more and more people. I’d love to have a way of doing a general broad topics type show to effectively replace the blog but it’s all about finding the hook, the one thing that makes my show just a little different from the other million podcasts out there. I’ve got time to figure that out though.
For now I’m going to go to bed and try and get more than a couple of hours sleep for the first time in days.