Learning To Stop
I get restless when I try and sit and do nothing at home, I can do it if I’m pretty much anywhere else or with someone else. I never have a problem just sitting, relaxing and doing nothing but soaking up some sun. But if I’m at home I find myself doing it for a short period of time and then start feeling almost guilty for it, like if I’m at home alone there are other things I could or should be doing instead of just sitting and not doing anything, even if those other things are leisure activities like playing a game or watching a show.
It connects to what I was talking about yesterday. I’m good at ‘island time’ lifestyle when I’m out or with anyone else but almost paradoxically, if I’m home I’m still feeling like there’s too much to do and not enough time to do it.
I need to get better about allowing myself time to switch off.
Even now, writing this is a mixture of both. I’m sat enjoying some outside time, I’m listening to The Midnight, I’ve got my feet up, I should just switch off, but as soon as I finished my drink I started thinking that I should go back in and play a video game or give the Thor expansion for Marvel Champions a whirl. I forced myself to stay out here but then my mind went to, “Oh you’re recording the podcast tonight, better get the blog done first otherwise it’ll be out late again.”
I know I over think… almost everything, and none of this is a real problem, but I find it interesting and I think this kind of introspection is healthy.
I know my flaws, even when they’re as minor as not being able to sit still when I’m alone, and I’d like to think that knowing that helps make me a better person each and every day.