• James Hewlett

One Year Later


A year ago today my world was rocked. I’d like to say it came out of nowhere but I’ve come to realise that it really wasn’t. When I found out on the night of Xmas eve 2018 that my wife was having an affair I don’t think I was taken by surprise. I was in shock, sure, but not surprised. I’d known something was up for a while, longer than I’d have admitted, and despite my best efforts it was irreparable.

The timing of it sucked, but there’s never a good time for that kind of thing. Xmas is just another day and we should assign value and meaning to days based on our own feelings not when a calendar tells us to.

It can be a good reason to get together with loved ones but no one should feel obligated to if they don’t want to. The same goes for gift giving. If you want to buy someone a gift, go for it, it doesn’t have to be for a specific reason. The reverse is true too, don’t feel like you have to buy someone a gift because of the date on a calendar.


This has turned into a bit more of my feelings towards Xmas, which have changed this year. A lot of things have changed this year, more so than at almost any other time in my life I think.

We all have moments that alter our paths in life, unfortunately a lot of the time they’re moments of tragedy, not always, some at joyous but those two extremes both have a way of forcing change to occur. It’s peaks and valleys I guess. If this year has shown be anything though it’s that when you get to the bottom of that valley there are a couple of paths you can take. One leads along the flat surface and leaves you wallowing and stuck in your sadness, the other leads up to much better things. It’s the harder path, you have to watch your step along the way, but god damn it is worth it!

I’ve said it a few times this year in a few different contexts, I haven’t even begun to peak. I’m loving the climb, I feel better than I ever have before. I’m healthy, I’m happy, I’m hopeful and I can’t wait to see what comes next!

Now, if you’ll excuse me I am going to watch Die Hard and have a way better xmas eve than last year!


#xmas #memories #holidays #divorce #relationships #gettingbetter #recovery

©2017 by James Hewlett.