• James Hewlett

Responsible Caring

Disclaimer; I wrote most of this while lying in bed late the other evening. It was one of those, ‘ooh an idea, better make a note so I don’t forget it’ moments that ended up going long. If any of it is weird or doesn’t make sense, that’s why!

I used to say I don’t care about many people but those that I do care about I would do anything for.

The ethos of that hasn’t changed but like a few things in my life, I think I have a better way of articulating it these days that more accurately explains what I really mean.

Me saying I don’t give a shit about many people is too flippant; of course I care, hell sometimes I wonder if I care a bit too much as a lot of what goes on in the world winds me up and gets under my skin despite me being powerless to singlehandedly be able to do anything about it. I care a lot about bigger issues and the people of this planet, what I mean and have always meant by my old statement is that I can’t care about every individual persons personal problems. A lot of it is not my burden to bear, some of it is because I have no context because I don’t know the person either by circumstance or choice and a part of it may be because I actually do know what’s wrong and have deemed it, for whatever reason, not my problem.

This is not a bad thing.

Trying to take on the weight of the world and all the people in it will drive anyone insane. It is not a healthy thing to do and no one is equipped to deal with the individual problems of everyone they come in contact with.

I want to re-emphasise the second part of my point though. It plays into the social distancing point I made the other day; I don’t keep a large group of friends, rather, I have a small group of whom I care deeply about and would do anything for. I would like to think that they all know that too and wouldn’t be hesitant to come to me for aid, assistance, advice, encouragement or support as and when they need it. I think they do know that though as running down the list in my head I can think of instances where I believe I have been there to help them each through, at least in my small way, whatever it was they were going through.

I’m not trying to say my way is better than yours or that you should be more like me. Shit, that’s the last thing I would encourage anyone to do, but I think everyone should periodically take stock of the people, problems and issues in their life.

What is good? What is bad? What is something you want to keep around? What could you get rid of or not worry about? What is absolutely indispensable and what is unnecessary?

The list you come up with will likely be a mixture of good and bad things, but if you’ve been able to whittle a few things off of it, then that leaves more time for the stuff that is staying put and more time and energy for yourself.

This all might sound contrary to my statements this week about helping out in these times of need but what I’m getting at is that you should help out however you can without taking on too much and burning out. Doing that is counterproductive and in the long run won’t help!

It’s the weekend everyone, for those of you at home and maybe losing track of days because your routine is out of whack, it’s Saturday! Enjoy it.


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