• James Hewlett

Stuck In A Rut

Updated: Jan 24, 2020

Get up

Go to work

Come home

Work out

Eat dinner

Watch tv while playing on my phone

Go to bed


That’s been my week this week. At least that’s how it feels.

It actually hasn’t been like that at all if I think about it, but I’ve been in a writing slump and really struggled with motivation, that in turn has bummed me out which as then led to me thinking that I’ve done nothing at all this week. Ah the feedback cycles, they’re fickle mother fuckers really.

I wouldn’t even say I’m really feeling down at all, I’m just kind of… flat, if that makes any sort of sense?

It’s not a bad thing, everyone has ups and downs; peaks, valleys and plateaus at varying levels. It’s good to talk about them all, it can be with a friend or partner, a total stranger or typing it out and putting it out into the wild, for me it all has the same effect. Everyone is guilty of saying, “Yeah, I’m good thanks, how about you?” When someone asks how they are, it’s a lot easier than actually saying something is up or that they might be feeling particularly great that day. It’s an easy deflection. I get why people, myself included, do it, but I would love there to be a big enough cultural shift so that if you asked someone how they are and they responded with, “Pretty crappy, but I’ll get through it.” It isn’t met with a somewhat taken aback reaction. I think this level of openness would lead to a lot more people getting help if they need it, in whatever form that may take.

Huh, and here I was thinking I didn’t have anything to say today and would just end up saying how I weighed in today matching my best weight ever and with my body fat percentage down to a new record low! I’m pretty pleased about that. I’m going to go to bed and read now despite the fact that it’s not even nine thirty. Night.

#routine #repetition #stuckinarut #feedbackcycle #depression #mentalhealth #communication #openness #honesty #helpful #exercise #fitness


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