• James Hewlett

Tough Love


A friend of mine is going through a rough spot at the moment, a shitty situation of their own doing.

A little while ago they came to me for some... help? Advice? Hard truths? I’m not sure exactly what but I was pretty honest with my feelings on the whole situation.

I laid out what I thought would be very achievable short term goals that, while they wouldn’t solve the situation by any stretch, would be a good starting point.

A couple of weeks ago the friend reached out again and said how it would be nice to catch back up and chat again.

This time I was more blunt. I felt like I had to be. I hadn’t hidden my opinions before, but it also didn’t seem as though anything I had said had been taken on board. I am always happy to help, but I don’t want to just be the person this friend is airing out their shit to. Especially considering the circumstances.

I told them that I would be happy to meet up again but only if they’d made some of the efforts we’d talked about or equivalent steps.

I’m not going to be totally unfair, some things have been done or at least started, but I think they may have felt embarrassed about the lack of and knew that I was disappointed because no plans were arranged.

I don’t like cutting friends off and that’s not my intention here at all, but people need to have their priorities in check and while I am always happy to help, in this instance my friend is the only one can help themselves.


Apologies for the vagueness of this one, it’s not my place to say anything else really. I just wanted to talk about my perspective.


#friends #friendship #advice #toughlove #awkward #catchingup #accountability #responsibility

©2017 by James Hewlett.