I mentioned it briefly yesterday and today it only get worse, but I’m not going to get into the details of my work woes. This is still a public thing and I don’t want it to bite me in the ass somehow.
Long story short is I’m feeling very trapped at the moment and I do not like any aspect of it.
I’ve made no secret about the fact that I’ve been very depressed lately and putting that all on work would definitely not be fair or true. But I’ve had low periods before and in the past I’ve always taken solace in the fact that I verbally enjoy my job and going to work isn’t bad. There’s been times in the past when I’ve been able to use work as a necessary distraction and it has kept me going by being something I can focus on.
It has been a long time since I’ve dreaded getting up in the morning because I was unhappy with work but I unfortunately find myself in that situation again at the moment.
The last time that was the case I gritted and bore it for as long as I could being walking out.
I’m at that stage again now but circumstances are slightly different and I can’t really do that this time. Though I came damn close to it today.
Only thing keeping me going at the moment is knowing there is a finite number of days left. Somewhere between nine and eleven I think depending on how things go. When I think about it like that I can think, alright, I can do that. But boy is it not easy at the moment.
I’ve tried to temper people’s expectations about the new year magically making everything better at the tick of the clock but for me and my work situation at least, January first is a new chapter and I cannot wait to end the current one.